


The Trouble with Witches

by critterdee_67



Series: Practice BINGO short stories [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-24 19:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17710262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/critterdee_67/pseuds/critterdee_67
Summary: The guys head to California to take care of a witch who is casting dangerous love spells.





	The Trouble with Witches

“So get this…” Sam walks into the library where Dean and Cas both happen to be sitting. Dean is perusing a website with hunting knives, and Cas is re-reading the Wizard of Oz. 

“I Found us a case,” He continues without acknowledging the activities of the other men, “in sunny California.”

“Really,?” Dean feigns interest and continues to research weaponry.  

“California, hmm?” Cas looks up from his book, “It might be nice to get out of the dreary midwest winter weather for a little while. Right, Dean?”

“Yeah, sure thing, Cas.”  Dean agrees, hearing his name. 

Cas knows that Dean isn’t paying attention and rolls his eyes. “What do you have for us, Sam?”

Sam sits on the footstool in front of Cas’s chair. “Remember back when we thought we were going up against a rogue Cupid because people were falling in love and killing each other, but it turned out to be Famine, and things got really ugly?”

“Uh, Yeah, Sam. Fighting the Four Horsemen and the whole Apocalypse thing is kinda hard to forget.” Dean sasses from across the room; now that he’s paying attention to the conversation. 

“Okay, smartass.” Sam gives Dean a bitchface.

“Go ahead, Sam.” Cas attempts to calm the tension between the brothers.

“Well, we have something weird happening in West Hollywood. People seem to be falling in love, and then all sorts of unusual things begin to happen. I think it's up our alley.”

“Unusual and weird like what?” Dean asks, now actually interested in the case. 

“Unnatural deaths. Similar weird things are happening like that case with old Fred and his cartoon world. This one guy’s heart swelled up three times the normal size, and this other guy… his penis fell off.”

“Oooooohhhh.” Dean and Cas both exclaim as Sam cringes at the words. 

“I’m not sure I want to be involved in a case where my … manhood is in mortal danger.” Dean covers his crotch with both hands. And Cas crosses his legs and leans forward, frowning. 

“I know it sounds bad, but come on guys. This is definitely our kind of case, and we need to help anyone else who might be in danger from whatever is causing this.” Sam pleads his case, “And it's West Hollywood, at least we should be able to see some sunshine for a few days.”

Cas and Dean look at each other, contemplating. 

“Fine.” Dean finally agrees. “Get packed; we leave in an hour.” Dean is not one for sitting around once his mind is made up, he’d just as soon hit the road. So, and an hour later they’re packed and heading west. 

They take turns driving, and Dean bitches about the toll road in Colorado, and later happens to be the one driving when they hit a construction area in Nevada. Dean curses the entire way through the construction until Sam takes over at the California border.  Cas and Dean swap places, so Dean can lay down in the back seat to catch a few Z’s before they reach the area of the case. 

They get two hotel rooms since Cas is mostly human now and does need to sleep. Sam quickly takes the King and uses his height as an excuse for needing the larger bed. Cas and Dean stand in the double room for a moment, staring at their surroundings, before Dean tosses his things on the bed nearest the bathroom. 

“You can have that bed,” Dean tells Cas, who nods and places his bag on the foot of the bed nearest the door. 

Dean heads into the bathroom to freshen up and change into his Fed suit. Cas also changes into his suit, having worn jeans and a button up for the ride. 

Dean and Cas work the police station and the morgue while Sam visits family and friends of the victims.  They meet up later for dinner at the Denny’s in the hotel parking lot. 

“Good grief, Dean. How can you eat after seeing that… those, missing… Sam, there was a second victim, his penis actually shriveled up and all but disappeared. It was awful. I think we’re dealing with someone who hates men, or at least hates penises - peni? What’s the proper plural for penis?” Cas looks at Sam for help, and he just shrugs and looks at him like he wants to hide.

“Cas, man, stop dwelling on it and eat your burger.” Dean teases, “At least you didn’t order the bratwurst. That’s just what you need, a weiner on your plate!” 

“Oh, and Dean, what about the third penis victim? The one that fell off? Sam the man’s penis fell off!”

“Cas will you stop talking about penises?” Dean groans.

“That’s not what you said last night.” Cas counters.

“WHAT?” Sam exclaims.

“Last night we were joking, and right now I’m trying to eat - and not gain the attention of EVERYONE in the restaurant.” Dean growls, “So, shut it and eat your burger.”

Cas frowns and slumps in his seat, but proceeds to eat his dinner, and Sam also stays quiet the rest of the meal. They discuss the case further in Dean and Cas’s room after dinner, so as not to advertise the case further in public.

The next morning, Sam knocks on their hotel room door.

“Cas, get that?” Dean calls from the bathroom.

Cas answers the door, and he and Sam are discussing the case when Dean emerges, all showered and dressed, from the bathroom. 

“Whatcha got, Sam?”

“Witches.”

“Awe gross, it figures. I hate witches.”

“Well, it seems we have a witch or witches casting spells on the men in the area.”

“They’re not spellcasting down on the beach, are they?... Of course, they’re not.” Dean asks and answers when he sees Sam’s bitchface. “What kind of spells are causing hearts to expand and penises to fall off?”

“Love spells.” Cas answers.

“Wait, what?” Dean grouses, “Not that. Really? Love spells? Can’t they be more original?”

“What’s wrong Dean?” Cas asks.

“He’s been hit with a love spell before, and man did he make an ass out of himself>” Sam chuckles. 

“ME? What about you?”

“Okay, okay. I get it.” Cas interrupts the brothers, “You don’t like witches or love spells.”

Sam jumps in with his plan, “So, today we canvas the neighborhood and find out where the victims came across the witches spell; and figure out what pissed this witch off in the first place. So far, all the victims are men, mid-thirties, attractive, otherwise healthy, and gay.” 

The boys split up and go in different directions to scope out all the new age shops, fortune tellers, and any other crazy vegan shops they come across. The plan is to meet back at the Denny’s for dinner. 

“Thanks, Sam. I guess you think it's funny to send me to the neighborhood of patchouli and desperation. Not a burger joint in the whole area.” Dean rants as he takes his seat across from his brother, “I had to eat something called a super-salad and this disgusting hot tea for lunch.” 

“Stop whining, at least you got to have lunch. I spent my time at the coroner's office with yet another victim.” Sam complains. 

“Oh yeah? And this one?” 

“You don’t want to know.” Sam shivers at the thought. 

Just then, Cas walks into the diner.

“Did Cas get a new suit, maybe a haircut?” Dean asks, staring at the man as he walks closer.

Sam looks around, “Nah, that’s the same suit he always wears. He just doesn’t have on his trench coat, must be too warm.”

“Yeah,” Dean squeaks out as he places his napkin on his lap and clears his throat, “Yeah, that must be the difference. He just looks…” Dean doesn’t finish his sentence, but he shifts over in the booth to allow Cas to sit next to him. “Hey, Cas.” He says a little too enthusiastic for normal. 

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replies, and Dean grins a little too sappy. “Hello, Sam. Did anyone make any progress on the case?” He asks as he takes his seat next to Dean.

“Sam got another dead body.” Dean rushes, “How about you, Cas? How did your day go?” Dean leans close, elbow on the table and his jaw on his hand. Looking at Cas awaiting his answer. 

“Um, nothing but false palm readers and antique dealers,” Cas replies with a questioning look at Dean.

“Whoa, cool. Antique dealers, huh? You think we should go back and check for cursed items or anything, Cas?”

“Dean, we know this is witches, we just need to find them.” Sam disrupts Dean’s staring contest with Cas.

“Huh, yea… I know that. But, maybe, we should use the buddy system … and Cas and I should stick together on the next outing.” Dean lays his hand on Cas’s forearm.

“Where would that leave Sam?”

“What?”

“If you and I partner up, that would leave Sam alone.”

“Sam’s a big boy. Right, Sam? You’re fine, yeah?”

“What the hell, Dean?” Sam bitches at his brother.

“Nevermind, let’s eat. Miss! We’re ready to order.” Dean calls to the waitress.

Sam gives Cas a wary look, Cas just shrugs, and his eyes go huge as Dean slides his arm around his shoulders and orders for all three. 

Dean digs into his burger as soon as it arrives, “Oh that’s good. I sure missed real food. Right, Cas?” 

“Dean it was one meal.” Sam scoffs.

“Shut up, Harvey.”

“Who’s Harvey?” Cas asks worriedly looking at Dean like he’s lost his mind. 

“The giant rabbit from that old movie… nevermind.” 

Cas pulls out his phone and begins typing. “Oh, I see, it’s here on IMDB. There’s a movie where Jimmy Stewart’s character sees an imaginary large white rabbit named Harvey.” Cas says as he reads the synopsis, “We should watch it sometime. It sounds quite interesting.” Cas smiles and Dean sighs.

“Yeah, we should.” Dean stares at Cas.

“I love that movie; we could watch it tonight.” Sam agrees.

“You’re not invited.” Dean frowns and points at Sam, “Just Cas and I.”

Sam looks shocked at Dean, the only time Dean ever uninvites him is when he wants to get laid. “Okay, fine. If you say so, grumpy.”

“Besides, you have your big ole king size bed to go home to, Jerk.” And Dean actually sticks his tongue out at Sam. Dean gives Cas a squeeze around his shoulders, “Cas and I are going to have our own movie night, and you can just go research or something. Come on, Cas. Let’s go download that movie.” 

Cas stares at Sam with wide eyes, the memory of that whore house running through his mind. But Sam is pissed at his brother and blows off Cas’s fearful look. 

“Fuck you, too, Dean.” Sam scorns when Dean flips him off as he and Cas walk out the diner door. 

Back at their motel room, Cas goes into the bathroom to - safely- change out of his suit, while Dean downloads the movie. When he comes out, he notices that Dean has also changed into the same sort of outfit, sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

“Looking good there, Cas.” Dean smirks, “Have a seat and let’s get this date started.”

“Um, what?”

“Just kidding.” Dean laughs just a little too nervously, “But, really, get comfy so we can watch this. I loaded the movie to my laptop.”

Cas sits on his bed, and Dean scoots in close to him with his computer on his lap. 

“Here.” Dean puts half the device on Cas’s leg, “Now we can both see better.”

They’re sitting so close that Cas’s right hip is against Dean’s left. Dean drapes his left arm across Cas’s shoulders, “Just need a place to put my arm.” Dean says as an excuse.

Cas isn’t sure what to do with his right arm, so he lays his hand in his own lap.

Halfway through the movie, Dean rests his head on Cas’s shoulder, actually snuggling closer and placing his right hand on Cas’s right thigh. Cas likes the feeling, so he doesn’t say anything. 

Just before the end of the movie, Dean has shifted so that he is nearly holding Cas they are so close. Sam bursts into the room. 

“Whatever you’re doing - stop! Don’t kiss him! Don’t do anything!”

Cas and Dean both startle and stare at Sam, who has his hand over his eyes. 

“What?” Cas asks.

“Why?” Dean asks at the same time and looks at Cas, the urge to kiss him is tenfold what it was a moment ago. 

“It was the tea.” Sam peeks between his fingers, then moves his hand when he knows it’s safe. “Dean has been hexed. Cas, if you let him kiss you, one or both of you will die!”

Both men cover their crotch and look horrified.

“Holy shit, I’m cursed. I’m fucking cursed - again! Why me?”

Cas moves off the bed, just to be safe.

“I knew there was something weird about you at dinner, Dean. So I did some digging into the restaurant where you had lunch. Our witch is there; I believe it’s the Chef; he was left at the altar and seems to still be angry.” Sam explains.

“But… Why’d he pick me?” Dean whines. “I don’t wanna be hexed.” He pouts and looks at Cas.

“Not sure yet. But you’ll be safe in about fifteen hours, the curse last twenty-four hours. Just don’t go kissing Cas.  The kiss is what seals the hex, that or sex.”

“I wasn’t about to have sex with Cas!”

“But you were going to kiss me?”

“No. Maybe. Shut up.”

“Dean you get the king bed tonight, I’ll stay here. You need to keep away from Cas. Tomorrow we’re going to catch ourselves a witch.”

Dean fusses and grabs his toothbrush, and Sam’s room key.

“Oh, and Dean, ”Sam calls, “No, um, self-love either. Not all the victims were with a partner when they died.”

Dean looks down at his own body, “Great. Now that’s all I can think about.”

Cas’s eyes drop to Dean’s waist and quickly back up to his face, a small smirk on his face. 

Dean points a finger at Cas, “Nobody else gets to either. Just in case this thing is really contagious.” The joy falls from Cas’s face, and he looks at Sam. 

“I hate to agree, but better safe than sorry, Cas.”

Cas crosses his arms over his chest and frowns at them both, “Fine, for our own safety, no one touches anything tonight.”

“Fuck it, this sucks!” Dean barks as he leaves the room. Dean grumbles all the way to Sam’s room. “Cockblocking idiot brother stopping me from getting with Cas, stopping me from any fun at all.” He sits on the foot of the bed and looks down at his now chubby cock. “Really, you damn traitor. You remember what that exploded dick looked like?” He tells himself and that immediately helps the situation. So that’s what he thinks about until he falls asleep, then he dreams about the horrific experience of having his dick fall off. The whole tactic worked and he barely even touched himself to go piss in the morning. 

Dean is in a horrible mood when he meets Sam for breakfast. But, when he sees Cas, he gets all smiley and goofy again — urging Cas to sit next to him in the booth. He greets him after not even speaking to his brother. 

“Hey, Cas. How’d you sleep? I hope your night was better than mine. You deserve nice things, Cas, good sleep and stuff, ya know.” Dean slaps his hand over his mouth to make himself shut up. 

“Thank you, Dean. I slept fairly well, and I was worried about you. I’m glad to see you… intact, this morning.”

“Well, by lunch he should be out of danger - and not so gross.” Sam reminds them. 

Dean realizes he has his arm around Cas’s shoulders again but blames the curse and decides just to leave it, Cas isn’t complaining, after all. 

They make plans for the day. All three sticking together for safety sake. Sam plans to do his best to keep Dean away from Cas until the curse is timed out. 

They prepare their weapons and head back to the restaurant where Dean had lunch the day before.

As hard as Sam tries, Dean keeps getting close to Cas. Standing near him or sitting beside him, barely there touches now and then, and lots of eye-fucking. Dean even blushes once when Cas says his name. 

Sam has figured out that the chef is the witch and he has been giving cursed tea to men who remind him of his ex. 

“So, honey, you’ve been able to keep your hands to yourself? Impressive.” The witch confronts Dean as Cas handcuffs him and sits him in a chair in the restaurant office. “Most men like you can't control themselves. Oh, I can tell a lot about a person - I read you when you came in the door that first day, waving your badge around and acting so macho.”

“Well, you obviously did a poor job on reading your ex;  because he sure got one over on you, honey.” Dean spits back at the man, extremely catty for Dean’s usual m.o. 

“Dean, maybe you need to let me do the talking.” Sa urges him back. 

“Good idea, Sam.” Cas agrees. 

Dean crosses his arms and storms over to the door, looking back at them with a pout. 

“Sam,” Cas whispers, “It’s been over twenty-four hours.” They both stare at him.

“What?” Dean barks.

“Nothing.” Sam answers.

“Let’s just take care of this witch.” He says to Cas. “Dean, go out to the car and bring ‘em in.”

Dean huffs, “Yes, boss.” He sasses on his way out to get their secret weapon.

Sam turns to the witch and informs him that most days they just shoot their enemies, but today they want to give him the chance to stop hexing people and fix the problem. 

Dean brings in the man’s ex-boyfriend, and Sam directs them in an exchange to work out their issues. It turns out that the ex-boyfriend only left because the witch was being a bully to him and he really missed him and wanted to come back if he promised to be kinder. He had wanted to say something but was embarrassed and then frightened when those men started dying. 

So, it turns out that Sam isn’t just a great hunter; he’s also a pretty good couples counselor. 

Back at the hotel, with the confirmation that Dean is no longer hexed and that he feels like himself again, Sam goes to his room and leaves Cas and Dean alone. Knowing that nothing bad will happen. 

Dean sits on the edge of his bed with his elbows on his knees.

“Cas,” He begins.

“Yes, Dean.”

“You know, that hex wasn’t specific as to who I fell for… I’m sure I could have fallen for just about anyone I came across on the way back to the diner.”

“Um, okay?” Cas is somewhat confused.

I think it worked on feelings that were already there.” Dean still hasn’t looked at Cas. “Cas, I’m not hexed any longer.”

“That’s good, Dean. You’re out of danger.” Cas smiles.

“No, Cas. I’m still very much in danger.” He looks up at Cas who is now sitting across from him on his own bed. “I’m in so much danger, Cas.”

“I don’t understand, Dean.” 

“Cas,” Dean rubs his hands on his jeans, “That hex made me realize just how much I care for you.”

“I care for you, too, Dean.”

“Cas, I’m…” Dean moves over to sit next to Cas. “I really care about you.” Dean slowly raises a hand and gently rubs his thumb over Cas’s cheek. “I more than care for you.”

Cas jumps up, shocking Dean, and walks over to the exit. He looks back at Dean and locks the door and pulls the curtain shut over the window before coming back to sit next to Dean.

“We don’t need sam bursting in this time, Dean.” Cas takes Dean’s hand and places it on his cheek, mirroring the position with his own hand. He leans in, and Dean understands, bringing their lips together tenderly. The kiss is gentle and testing. Then they test a few more times. 

Cas arranges them on the bed, so they are laying with Dean’s head on Cas’s chest. Dean yawns, not realizing how tired he is, and Cas rubs his back. 

“Fighting a curse is tiring work,” Dean says sleepily.

“May I hold you while you get some rest?”

“I think I’d like that, Cas.”

Dean is still snuggled against Cas, asleep, when Cas shifts down to get more comfortable. They sleep cuddled together all night. 


End file.
